Rings around Uranus department: That daft old bint Mystic Meg, -think she started out as a secretary on one of the magazines, and one day someone asked if she could write the astrology section (I've heard similar tales of how people came to become an Agony Aunt, -absolutely no training whatsoever and suddenly they're dishing out all that advice to vulnerable young girls that confide in them and possibly nobody else, dishing out tea and sympathy when they used to just dish out the tea. Found this out when one of her old magazine colleagues saw this picture and said 'She wasn't very mystic when I used to know her?'

I lost faith in clairvoyants when I turned up for one appointment and there was a sign on the door saying 'Closed Due To Unforeseen Circumstances'?

But when I was young found this vase and a genie popped out and said you could have either one of two wishes, either a long memory or a long willy, -and do you know, I can’t remember which I went for now?